Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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