I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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