he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i think i have herpe
just one?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
