So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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