I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
