smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
