Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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