remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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