11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
