Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
