Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize