but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
