OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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