Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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