my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
