forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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