I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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