at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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