You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
