Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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