i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
