My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
