Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
