I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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