im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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