and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
