brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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