Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize