that's an acceptable place to lick
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Randomize
