can u get pink eye on your cock?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
