He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
How's work?
Spinning.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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