i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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