Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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