Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
