Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
