Grow some girl-balls and come out already
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Holy shit dude........stairs
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