so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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