I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
