Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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