I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
