Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
