she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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