"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
