awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
