That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
