ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
