there's paper in my vomit.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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