i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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