you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i will never coherently bang her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
