the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
