hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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