I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
