Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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