So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
