there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up under a house in Key West
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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