i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
