We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
