lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
