Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
