First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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