Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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