i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
