Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize