That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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