the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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