Need sex. Gaining weight.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
