Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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