I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
