party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
