I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
