At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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