Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The best revenge is premature balding
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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