I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize