it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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