singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
