i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
